Worst Song(s) Ever? Woof.

They play it at my kid’s daycare pretty much every day… I should alert the authorities.

It’s official – Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out” (summer hit/chart-topper in 2000) was named the “Worst Song Ever” in a recent list compiled by the editors of Spinner.com and AOL Radio.

AOL Radio assembled 111 ear-offending tunes, all of which have varying degrees of shittiness. But most of them (with a few exceptions) sold pretty well (in some cases, like the aforementioned Doggie doggerel, VERY well, thankyouverymuch). What did Mencken say about underestimating the taste of the American public?

So here are the top/bottom ten songs:

  1. Who Let The Dogs Out – Baha Men (2000)
  2. Ice, Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice (1990)
  3. She Bangs – Ricky Martin (2000)
  4. Barbie Girl – Aqua (1997)
  5. U Can’t Touch This – MC Hammer (1990)
  6. I Am Woman – Helen Reddy (1972)
  7. I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred (1991)
  8. Ebony And Ivory – Paul McCartney And Stevie Wonder (1982)
  9. Macarena – Los Del Rio (1995)
  10. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion (1997)

[edited] — I had to hunt around a bit because lame AOL didn’t actually publish their entire list — you have to listen to all of them online. But a gracious, enterprising, OCD-suffering HopePop reader (thx, OgyJoe!) actually took the time to listen to every single song and create an Excel spreadsheet documenting the horror.

And I gotta say, I’m not sold on this list. The top/bottom 10? Yeah, I guess there’s some serious dreck there (even though Sir Paul can do no wrong with me)… but as much as I hate Celine, I think MHWGO suffers more from over-exposure than from being crappy. It’s not a genius piece of songwriting, but I think it’s certainly better than no. 108 (Lou Bega’s “Mambo Number 5”).

Classic Songs of Jimmy Webb

Classic Songs of Jimmy Webb

Where are some of pop’s most execrable ditties? Where the hell is Richard Harris’ version of “MacArthur Park”, goddammit? They left my cake out in the rain! But they included “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s (no. 111) – a pop classic, no less — and they had Starship’s “We Built This City” in the high 20s (28)! It should be 1 or 2! Any time you mention “rock and roll” in a song, and it’s not an ironic reference, your song sucks.

And just so you can feel the suck, I give you the warbly, magnificently bad Richard Harris.

5 Responses to “Worst Song(s) Ever? Woof.”

  1. Now, I haven’t really sat down and given this serious thought — or reviewed the full list — but is it safe to assume that “96 Tears” by Question Mark and the Mysterians is on there? If not, we know the list is seriously flawed.

  2. It is NOT on there!

  3. And where’s the “gliddy gloop gloopy”? Huh? Huh?

  4. So, we have no choice — we need to compile our own list. And then weather all the ridicule heaped upon us by every other music maven for omitting the truly odious.

  5. By the way, I just listened to this enough to piece it together and that other blog that listed all the songs is not correct. Some of them were numbered incorrectly and some simply weren’t even on the list. Anyway, I made a list myself after listening (an exhausting process I tell you). I won’t flood the comments by posting them all here, so I posted the Excel spreadsheet with the whole list on my site.

    http://www.ogyjoe.com/111_Worst_Songs.xls

    It’s so sad that I took the time to do this. Still beats spending the work day actually doing work.

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